Evening or daytime? Summer or winter? Chicken or fish? Near or far? You’ll have a lot of choices when it comes to planning your wedding, but where to have it is a very big, very important one! Should you consider a destination wedding? It seems everyone has an opinion about why it’s a great idea or madness. But when it comes down to it, just like all those other choices, it’s all about what fits with who you are. There are pros and cons to a destination wedding — and I’m here to help you sort through it!
When you’re deciding between an in-town and a destination wedding, it’s kinda like choosing between your favorite home-cooked meal and going out to eat at a fancy restaurant. Both taste terrific! It just depends on your own personality and what you’re craving. I love destination weddings — and I love hometown weddings! And everything in between! Because when it comes down to it, your wedding will be one of the best days of your life, no matter where you are. Hey, you’re marrying your favorite person, surrounded by your friends and family, what’s not to love?
So for everyone out there considering that big decision, here’s a few pros and cons to help you make your best choice for the BEST day!
8 things to consider when you’re deciding if you want to plan a destination wedding or not:
1.The Price
Let’s deal with the elephant in the room: price. If you’re considering a destination wedding, you’re probably wondering how you would pay for it.
Depending on where you are, a lot of the costs may or may not be pretty similar to an in-town wedding. It just comes down to what you want as your backdrop! For an indoor location, you’ll still have to pay for a venue, food, music, all that. You’ll just be buying things in a different city, which may be more expensive or even cheaper, depending on where you go. If you choose the mountains or beach to be your “I do” view and have an outdoor reception, your costs may be significantly cheaper.
The big difference for you is you’ll be paying for flights, hotel stays, and the little things that go with being away — passports, luggage, visas, car rental, someone to watch your pets, etc.
BUT, depending where you get married those prices may cancel each other out, or still be cheaper. Keep in mind that you’ll need a few days at the destination to prepare and sleep off any potential jet-lag — it’s probably not a good idea to arrive the night before!
Who Pays for What
You’re not necessarily obligated to pay for the flights or hotel rooms of your guests, but as this Knot article explains, sometimes it’s the only way to help certain guests, like elderly relatives, attend. The author also suggests that it can be a good idea to pay for some group activities during the wedding week. To give your guests something to do when they’re not preparing for the big day!
Using flight trackers, considering off-season times, and sending out invitations early are all ways you can minimize the cost for you and your guests. But travel costs are nothing to sneeze at — so they’re an important part of considering whether a destination wedding is right for you!
On the flip side, people do tend to be more excited to pay to attend a destination wedding. It’s a great reason to get away and go on a vacation with their friends and family.
2.Extra-special environment
There’s nothing quite like going on vacation! Somehow, being in a new environment makes everything a little shinier and more special. Having a destination wedding is like applying that feeling to the whole big day. It’s a chance to share vows in those vacation-worthy settings: in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains you once hiked together, in a medieval English church, on a breezy Jamaican beach. It’s the most special vacation ever! Especially because you get to take along your friends and family! I was thrilled to shoot a destination wedding in gorgeous Montana! It was actually the bride’s family reunion, which made it a really sweet, relaxed celebration.
A destination wedding brings out a whole new set of options. Sipping your champagne toast in Champagne, France? Having your rustic reception in a Tahoe ski lodge? Walking down the aisle on a sandy Hawaiian beach? Yes, yes, and yes!
3. Your surroundings
Have you ever forgotten your favorite moisturizer on a big trip…and had to run around like crazy trying to find it in a new city? Yeah, that’s a problem you don’t want to have on your wedding day!
A destination wedding can add a lot of fun new factors — but they can also take you out of your comfort zone. Besides making sure you have all the right personal and beauty items, you’ll need to make sure you can get all your necessary vendors on-site. Everyone from the florist to the makeup artist, the wedding planner, the DJ, the caterer — even the minister. So double check the travel costs for your venders. It is great to bring along the vendors you trust and rely on. So don’t settle for the resort “super deal”.
If you’re traveling far, you’ll want to consider new weather patterns, as well as factoring for language and cultural barriers. Can your cake withstand the tropical heat? Will you know how to ask for Advil at the pharmacy? Will there be a band available who can play your favorite country song? Martha Stewart Weddings provides some great questions you want to ask before you place that deposit!
Like life, it’s all about planning and flexibility. A destination wedding may be a lot more stress than an in-town wedding — and it’s okay if that extra stress stresses you out! I have also seen a destination wedding be a lot less stressful. Separating yourself from the expectations of a local wedding means knowing all of your family will be on time as they are at your destination days before the ceremony. And a less stressful guest-list because you know not everyone can make it are all things that may sound like a breath of fresh air.
4. Number of attendees
Destination weddings naturally tend to have fewer guests than in-town weddings. They’re a big commitment for everyone involved, both financially and time-wise, so you end up with a smaller, closer group of guests. It’s an opportunity to keep your invite list small — that is, less pressure to invite any third cousins or work acquaintances!
A destination wedding can be a great way to celebrate with just your closest friends and family. Plus, the longer timeline that comes with attending a destination wedding means that guests have a real chance to bond. Spending days together in a shared place gives both sides a chance to get to know each other — and makes lifelong memories for everyone involved!
When I was shooting a destination wedding, it was like a giant party for multiple days. It seemed like everywhere you went on-site had special friends. It was like a wedding weekend, instead of wedding day!
5. Harder for guests to attend
Yes, you know your big day is going to be a dream trip. But not every guest can justify the commitment involved — no matter how much they love you! You’ll want to really consider who you want there, and whether that commitment is something they can make work.
Sending out save-the-dates early, and consulting your closest circle as soon as possible, can help put you in the best position to make that decision.
But some may not have the money for a flight. Others may not have enough vacation days. Still more might not be able to find suitable childcare — or pet care! Plus, if your dream day entails a flight, pregnant, sick or elderly guests may not be able to make that journey. For me, having a local wedding meant my grandmother was able to attend before she passed. That was so meaningful to me.
6. Save money on your honeymoon
Imagine stepping right out of your wedding reception and into your honeymoon. Yep, you already did the packing and got over the jet lag — and now you get to relax! Destination weddings can be a great way to save money on your honeymoon, since you won’t have to worry about flying to a separate location.
Plus, you’re able to eliminate the stress of having to fly or drive anywhere after such a LONG day — it’s kind of like extending your wedding! But be careful — your relatives and friends may choose to extend their stay, too, and soak up the sun. That could be an awesome opportunity for extra bonding — or it could be a bit of an interruption of your privacy. Sometimes this is a moment to “hop islands” for your honeymoon and let all of your family and friends enjoy their own vacation.
Be sure to be clear about your expectations with any friends and family who might want to join in — being on the same page early means less stress later!
7. Travel stress
Speaking of stress…travel isn’t all margaritas and sunshine. Depending on where you’re going, you may need to deal with early flights, time differences, long days…and the dreaded disappearing luggage. It doesn’t help when you know you have many VERY important things to bring with you on your journey! Make sure to get all your bags in order with everything you might need — as Brides magazine points out, pack your linens and carry on your dress!
In general, you want to be really “feeling yourself” on your wedding day, and sometimes traveling can get in the way of that. Whether you need eight hours of beauty rest, a soak in the tub, or a six-step nightly skincare routine. You want to make sure you can accommodate your most important self-care steps into your wedding travel so you can really feel… “you!” Because that glow will show through on your wedding day if you can make time for it!
8. Beautiful Photos
Finally, the photos. Who would I be if I didn’t get you excited about photos? A destination wedding is a great chance to make time for some really “once-in-a-lifetime,” jaw-dropping shots. You can choose an aesthetic that really matches your personality and your love story — maybe a looming national forest, an old-fashioned chateau, a soft and sandy beach.
It’s so fun to be able to incorporate scenery, wildlife, nature and even seasons that you wouldn’t be able to find at home. You’ll smile looking at those shots amidst crunchy New England leaves, sweeping Colorado canyons, or soft Vermont snow.
But, of course, photographs can be gorgeous no matter where you are. It’s all about showcasing who you are, and getting to share your love. It’s special to look at photos from a new, far away place. And it’s special to look at photos from the place you’ve made your home together! And still having your jaw drop at your portraits in your favorite greenhouse or favorite hill you used to sled down.
Bonus Idea
Another way to “skin the cat” is planning a destination engagement photo shoot. I love those shoots — you get the best of both worlds with a chance to take those meaningful, homey shots on your wedding day!
For every sweet Montana, family-reunion destination wedding, there’s another sweet hometown wedding. One couple I photographed got to get married in the same church their parents and grandparents got married in — how special is that?
There’s no wrong choice — it’s YOUR day and YOUR love. So do what feels right, and you’ll be set up to have the best day…I promise!