We will never forget this pandemic. Seeing restaurants closed, parks fenced off, and churches with locked doors, it can be hard to see the good in all of this. Yet, nearly everyone I have talked to has said they are experiencing good and more hopeful than ever about a change of lifestyle after COVID-19 finally takes a bow. After going through this, we know that things will never be the same. And in many ways, that’s okay. Wedding planning trends may never be the same, and that’s okay.
I have seen a lot of interesting things over the 100+ weddings and years of photographing weddings, but nothing like this.
My heart hurts for the brides under the stress of switching up their plans, worried about grandparents attending, and wondering if they will ever be able to have their dance.
But there is good here too.
Nearly all of my brides say they are more excited about their new game plan. The brides who scrambled to make changes said their wedding day was better than they originally planned, and that it still was the best day of their life.
My clients had planned and planned for their day to be perfect- only to find that in all the change, a perfect day can exist without all the details they originally thought were key. Once they decided to make the changes, they seemed more joyful and totally happy with the new plans.
I want all of my future clients to feel this joy. This breath of fresh air. This simple, happy, love.
That is why I believe these three COVID-19 wedding planning trends need to STAY after the quarantine is over.
1. DITCH EXPECTATIONS
I didn’t realize how many expectations came with a wedding day until COVID-19 made my brides lose them all.
The expectation of inviting “Sally” because you invited “Susie”, having the dinner at the same place as everyone else in your town, and making sure your ceremony was in a location that everyone would enjoy and not judge.
The expectation list is a long one. Wedding favors, programs, snack bar, dollar dance, extra cake, fancy plates. PHEW. OK, WEDDING PLANNING IS EXHAUSTING.
So many expectations. So many needs. But are these needs?
If you want the list- great! Spark that joy! Bring on the smiles! Let your creative, happy heart thrive!
But, if you notice that while planning you feel like your list is zapping you, not building your joy- DITCH. Don’t do anything that makes your day feel more like a production and less like a day of professing your love and promises to your spouse.
DON’T invite the people you only feel obligated to invite- they probably won’t show up even after RSVPing “yes”. DO invite your closest friends, greatest life-impacters, and family that you would do anything for.
DON’T have your reception at the place that makes the most sense if it means nothing to you. DO have your reception at a place you really enjoy and is full of special meaning.
Think hard about these do’s and don’ts. I want you to feel free as a bird and happy as a honeymooner. And that means ditching these wedding planning expectations.
2. MAKE IT PERSONAL
The pandemic forced several of my brides to scale back their “big” day. And guess what? It was a giant success!
Like when the bride entered her backyard where not only her best childhood memories were made growing up, but also now her wedding- it was priceless and moving. When my water-loving couple hopped on a boat after their ceremony to take a celebratory lap around the lake – I hadn’t seen anyone happier. When the bride’s sister shared the family memories from the homestead where the couple’s reception table now sat – the entire family beamed with pride.
These emotions exist on a wedding day when you allow them to exist. When you aren’t feeding a production and instead feeding your dreams. And if your dream is all that you have planned, then WONDERFUL! I am so happy you are getting married exactly the way you want!
But if you find yourself wondering what your day could look like being married somewhere else that means more to you, then maybe it’s time to ask yourself if your plans fit you and your spouse. Making your special day personal brings so much uniqueness and contentment. You are able to totally express your love for each other in a totally raw and real way by surrounding yourself by that love.
Take time to think:
- What do you and your fiance love to do?
- How can you incorporate that into your wedding planning so all can share in that fun?
For my clients who need help sorting that out or who are really struggling to figure that out, I love to dream with them so that they can enjoy all phases of wedding planning and make their special day personal.
3. REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED
In the midst of the planning and the crazy, I think it can be easy to lose sight of the purpose of the day. The pandemic made people focus on that as they had some tough decisions to make about their wedding.
- Why are you getting married?
- What are your non-negotiable items for your wedding day?
- What will help you and your spouse enjoy it to the fullest?
I think it’s so important to draw back and remember the purpose of your wedding day. It’s not about expectations, it’s not about what’s easiest, and it’s not something you have to go through. It’s about you and your love, professing your promises to each other before God and planning to live that out for the rest of your life.
I give you permission to follow these lessons the pandemic brides learned, friends, because I haven’t seen anyone happier than the ones who followed it.
Here’s to your good health and happiness! Always.