Close your eyes and imagine your wedding day. You’re all dressed up, feeling nervous and excited in your gown as you wait to see your future spouse. You’re a little jittery, but you can’t wait to see each other for the first time, and you’re all ready to capture the moment! How will you do that first look? Now, was that vision right before walking down the aisle? Or did you envision a special moment before the ceremony?
You’re not alone if the idea of a “first look” is new to you. But you’re probably familiar with the old tradition that the groom doesn’t see the bride on the day of the wedding until the ceremony. Apparently, the tradition actually got its start in the days of arranged marriages, when families didn’t want the groom to call off the wedding if he didn’t like the way the bride looked!
Well, somehow, the tradition stuck, and lots of couples choose to stay apart for the first part of their wedding day, which makes the moment when they do get to see each other extra special! Lots of grooms get their first look at the bride in her dress during the ceremony, but a new trend of “first looks” carves out a special time for the couple to see each other on the day of the wedding, before the ceremony. So, to help you figure out whether you want a first look or not, I’ve got three reasons why you might want to be a “looker”…and three reasons why you might want to be a “waiter!”
Reasons To Be a Looker
1. Spending the entire day with your future spouse
If you decide to plan a first look, it can take the pressure off and ooze comfort into your nerves by seeing your fiancé before the aisle. Getting to have breakfast and lunch together can give you a really nice sense of normalcy during a time that can feel pretty hectic! It gives you guys a chance to relax and talk about how you’re feeling throughout the day…and maybe sneak out to grab Dairy Queen together. Your call!
Plus, on the practical side, since you’re not waiting until the ceremony to see each other, you have flexibility to take your wedding party and couple photos anytime before the ceremony. That means no cocktail hour required!
2. Get all your emotions out beforehand with a first look
Let’s be real, your wedding day can be an emotional adventure! You’re getting ready to start a new life together, and you’re doing it in front of all of the people you hold dear! I say it’s okay to be raw and real — it’s your wedding day…but you may want to get your tears out while you have a chance to reapply mascara!
For those who may not feel comfortable expressing the emotions of that first moment with their whole guest list, the first look gives a quiet opportunity to share those emotional moments, together. You get to talk about what you’re feeling…instead of relying on whispers and winks! I loved this first look, where Hannah and Logan chose to share some special letters with each other. You can feel all the joy in that moment!
3. Walking down the aisle is still special
Some people might be worried that seeing each other before the ceremony will make that walking-down-the-aisle moment less special. I promise you, it will still feel like a very emotional “big deal” moment when you finally see them in that formal wedding setting. When I walked down the aisle I still felt like, “Oh my gosh, I’m getting married!”
Plus, when you walk down the aisle, you get to have that “first look” moment with all your friends and family, and that’s pretty exciting, too!
Reasons To Be a Waiter
1. Adding extra “wow” factor
Okay, so walking down the aisle is definitely going to be thrilling regardless, but the whole wedding day can feel absolutely electrifying when you know you’re just hours away from seeing your future spouse for the first time! It’s especially incredible to experience the “we’re getting married” feeling and the “I’m seeing you for the first time” feeling simultaneously. It amplifies your emotion and anticipation!
I planned a pre-aisle first look for my own wedding, so I can’t say exactly what it feels like to be standing at that altar, taking it in for the first time. BUT, I have photographed couples who have taken this route, so I have a clue…and they look incredibly happy!
2. Keeping your wedding day focus
Sometimes, the thing that gets me through a busy day is the thought of date night at the end! That same idea might help you stay focused and handle nerves on your big day. Your wedding day will be an amazing day… but it can also be a little distracting, and require a bit of focus! Knowing that you’re working toward that moment when you get to see each other again can add an amazing layer of focus and determination. Knowing your almost-spouse is waiting for you at the end of the aisle sure makes it easy to stay focused on the steps to get you there. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.
3. Saving more time in the morning
So, I mentioned that having a first look can save you time after your ceremony, time that you might have normally used for your bridal party photo session. But the planned first look itself takes up time before the wedding, and that’s something you’ll want to consider. If your ceremony starts earlier in the day, it could be more challenging to fit in a first look with all the getting ready that needs to happen. Even if you have a later ceremony, you might want to use that pre-ceremony time to do fun activities with your squad, like going golfing, or watching Father of the Bride!
In any case, I create custom schedules with all my clients, so I’m always happy to tweak the timing to make sure you get the perfect experience! One option that I think makes a great compromise is doing a first look an hour before the wedding. Spending the morning apart still gives you a chance to get really hyped up for the moment of seeing each other, and you get to have a special first look alone with your partner.
At the end of the day, it’s a decision that comes down to you and your partner, and what will bring you the most JOY! Don’t spend too much time stressing about it, because the big reveal is going to be a big deal, no matter what! Enjoy the process, and follow your heart. And when it comes to that first moment you see each other… breathe deep, soak it all in. I promise you won’t be forgetting that moment any time soon!