Today’s bride is bombarded with lists of “shoulds” and “have-tos” for her wedding day. But are the top items on those lists really the most important? Does the future success of your life together come down to your hair, the candles, or whether people like the food at the reception? Those things are a part of your day, but they aren’t where you need to spend time on that day. Take a deep breath and skim this or dig deep into these ten bits of advice that help you realign how to spend your time on your wedding day.
It helps to start here:
1. Take some time to think about what you’re looking forward to on this day.
This may sound obvious, but a bride is pulled in a dozen different directions so it’s easy to forget to think through how you’d like to spend your time on your wedding day. Old Ben Franklin said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” (Maybe he always dreamed of being a wedding planner instead of an inventor and publisher.)
You do NOT need to plan the day down the minute. Not at all! But you should take some time and think about the big things you’d be sad to miss on this special day. There aren’t as many as you’d think. Give the “biggies” some thought.
2. Ditch icky thoughts.
Today of all days is “your” day. So, make a pact with your fifth-grade self that she has no place here today. Ditch those deep-in-the belly worries like insecurity or old hurts or even superstitions about the weather. (Except for the “rain on the day means showers of blessings” one. Ha!) Enter into this day filled up on your honey’s love of you and the love of the One who made you.
3. Leave time for little moments to happen.
Don’t over plan (or let someone else over plan) your day. Allow gaps of time for silliness, quiet, slumber-party connection with your girls or others. Leave time for your groom to relax and connect with you! Just you two. Plan some time (or times) to connect with God. He does offer us that “peace that passes all understanding” which is even more important on such a momentous day. This is why I love helping my clients create a wedding timeline. I love leaving time for all the good, wonderful, unplanned ice cream stops or dog visits to happen. Or even just to soak up the time with your friends.
4. Add a little extra.
Yes, we just decided to not “over plan.” BUT we’re ALSO saying…plan some time for something fun. Make time (even just 15-20 minutes) for a sunset walk or root beer floats or pizza or a drive around town together.
Plan an intentional playful time for your special group to enjoy together.
5. Let the day happen.
Remember in high school giving a speech in front of the whole class? You worked on it for days and nights. And then poof it was over. Most people don’t remember even opening their mouth. They weren’t prepared for the emotion and nerves and all the people staring so they kind of blacked out.
Today you don’t have to tell the class about whatever you spoke about, you are here to enjoy. Just let the day happen around you and with you and be present and enjoy it. The planning is done. Now take a breath and watch everyone enjoy!
6. Expect some unexpected.
When your parents or relatives share a story about their wedding day how often are the stories about something that went wrong? A groom or bride picks that silly, crazy, unexpected moment to remember with a shake of the head and a huge smile! They may not have loved it at the time, but it is shared now as a fun memory.
Your wedding day is a big day with a lot of people and a lot of moving parts so the best thing you can do is expect something unexpected to happen. And roll with it. Imagine yourself telling your son or daughter about it someday…with a big smile.
If you expect something to not go according to plan it won’t trip you up so much when it happens.
7. Enjoy it.
This may sound simple, but not all brides do, so it must be a little difficult. Think about what you look like when you’re enjoying something. And then be that person.
What do you feel like when you: watch your niece and nephew on the playground, binge Netflix with friends, go out to eat, hang with your honey? Allow yourself to be that person today. You don’t need to become a romantic, extroverted, or the life of the party. Just be you and enjoy it.
Your photographer will capture what’s on the list. The professionals and those around you will make sure all the moments happen. You are there to enjoy this amazing day. You have found the love of your life and everyone you care about is going to come celebrate it. Enjoy it!
8. Go where you want. Spend time your way.
Along with enjoying the day comes the reminder that you can go and do things you’d like to do. You don’t have to follow the way a friend did her wedding day or a movie script.
If you want time in the day to get ice cream with the bridal party—make it happen. Your photographer will capture the fun. If you want to share a special lunch of your favorite restaurants as a family—his and yours—do that. And the photos will be tasty too.
Make sure you feel the freedom to go where you want and be where you want on this day. Someone will keep track of the time—not you. Special memories are made and amazing photos are captured when you are where you can enjoy yourself and your one-of-a-kind friends and family.
9. Spend time remembering you are enough.
On your special day take time to believe from your head to toes that you are special. There is no one else on earth exactly like you. And never will be!
You are enough. For your groom, your family, this day, his family, your guests, and your Creator. It’s not what you wear or say or forget to say that matters. You are very special. And you are enough.
10. Focus on the purpose behind the day.
Today is about the profession of your love and commitment to your lifelong friend. It’s a day set aside to show everyone that you are committed to do this thing together, forever.
That’s what today is all about. I know there was a lot of planning that went into this day. But that’s done–sink into the specialness of what you two share together and how this day marks the first of many, many days in love. No drops of rain or forgotten doughnut tower changes the purpose of this special day.
I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t worry. Your wedding day will be like no one else’s. It will be amazing! If you think through how to spend your time on your wedding day before the big day you will enjoy every minute!