Nerves are natural. But not always welcome. Grammy-winner Adele, and Golden Globe and Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence both experience nerves before every big event. So, you are not alone if you feel some wedding day jitters. Your body responds to the importance of the event–it thinks it is helping you out. And in some ways, it is. Your body and your mind know your big day is…big. So, it reacts and the butterflies float in. But, no need to worry. There is great news. There are multiple ways to calm wedding day nerves. See which one (or ones) might help you:
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Write it down
A great way to shake off nerves is to write about it. Grab a journal or a piece of paper. The back of a takeout menu. A junk mail envelope. It doesn’t have to be fancy.
But don’t grab your phone. The stress-dripping-away process goes better if you’re physically putting pen to paper.
Write down some of your thoughts and feelings. Just for you. Don’t worry about how it sounds, what others might think, or even how you should feel. Be real with yourself. And get it out on the page.
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Pray
After you chase down some of your thoughts and feelings on paper, turn those worries into prayer.
Remember running to your parent for help when you were young? Big or small concern, you knew you could take it to your parent. God is your Father in heaven. A Father who made you and loves you. He created a universe that was the perfect place for you to find your special someone. Take any worries about today or your wedding day to Him. Hand over your concerns to the One who remembers to raise the sun every day and who keeps this earth spinning. There is no concern too small. He is waiting to be with you and comfort your heart. You will feel better when you hand it to God.
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Talk With Someone
If you write about your worries and even pray about them and still would like another way to calm your wedding day nerves, talk with someone. Sometimes just saying a concern out loud shrinks the worry. Voicing your concern to a friend takes what feels so giant in our minds and dials it down a size!
You are thinking about A LOT right now. So many details! It’s no wonder you have a nagging thought or two getting on your nerves. Feel free to share your concern with someone else.
And don’t judge yourself. No worry is silly! If it’s bothering you, let it out. Tell someone, “I’m afraid my sister won’t remember her shoes.” Your friend doesn’t necessarily need to fix your problem. They can just listen. But if they volunteer to take a step to help with any of your concerns, feel the freedom to accept their help.
The old saying, “Get it off your chest” might be just what you need.
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Assign A Point person
If you’re someone who has dealt with anxiety, be proactive. Appoint someone to look out for you during rehearsal and on your wedding day. Someone who can step in and ask for a ten-minute break for you or bring you snacks or music or even be the person who makes you laugh when you need it. Tell that person that you’d like for them to be your guardian angel that weekend and swoop in when they think you need a swooping. You will be busy. And you want to enjoy your wedding day. It’s a great idea to ask an intuitive friend to proactively watch out for you in case you need it.
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Delegate Wisely
One way to get out ahead of your nerves is to delegate tasks and concerns before your wedding day. If you are nervous you’ll forget your shoes, favorite mascara, or his ring, delegate those tasks to be on someone else’s mind and not yours.
Hire reliable, experienced professionals for as much as you are able. Your experts should make your day flow smoothly and be enjoyable. Interview vendors until you find the one you know knows what they’re doing and loves making an amazing wedding day. After photographing over one hundred weddings I’ve seen DJs seamlessly step in to save the day, caterers who live to please, and wedding planners who dream of taking every care away. Delegate as much as you can and then trust them to “worry” about getting it done for you.
I am a huge fan of creating a timeline with my couples so they can see what, when, where, who needs to do what and when. They see it all out in front of them. Especially the “down” time. Everyone is happy to see that. We plan for the day and create moments of just plain joy. Delegate and enjoy.
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Exercise
Couples may not put “exercise” on their list of things to do for the wedding, but physical activity is so good for you, especially in times of stress. When your muscles want to grab onto the stress and turn it to concrete in your veins, some movement can shake that loose. Crank the tunes and have a run. Or silence the world and stretch it out. Do something physical in the yard or clean out a closet in record time. Keep yourself moving and enjoy the benefits of the natural endorphins it creates.
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Eat. Often.
This may sound obvious, but on your wedding day you need to…eat.
It’s surprising how easy it is to forget this on your busy wedding day. But, please, don’t forget to eat. Little bits. Lots of bits. The night before. Morning of. The day of. All day long.
Not only does eating fuel your body. But food in your stomach helps calm a nervous belly. Apparently, those butterflies need something to nom on to calm down. Keep your wedding day nerves calm with a regular intake of healthy energy.
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Drink Plenty Of Water
Did you know the average human can survive up to seventy days without food, but only three days without water? Your wedding day is not a game of “survivor” but I think it’s a stark reminder for how vital water is to our bodies. Drinking water is important to regulate your body temperature, feel healthy, deliver nutrients to cells, and to improve thinking and mood. Imagine the H2O scurrying around your body supplying oxygen and needed nutrients throughout your body on a demanding day.
An extra bonus? Plenty of water is a key ingredient for radiant skin!
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Take a moment
Several of these keys to calm your wedding day nerves may be done in advance, but this one is your key to calm right in the thick of things. Take a moment. Yep. You have moments to spare. You do. Take one. Step away to a quiet room. Out in nature. Ask for folks to clear out for a few minutes.
Be alone with your thoughts. Feel your heartbeat. Smell the flowers you so lovingly selected. Glide your hands across your amazing dress. Take a moment to be…in the moment. A moment where no one needs anything or you aren’t answering a question or worrying. Take a moment to be grateful. For this day. Your special someone. Your family. The future. You are welcome to take a pause and have a moment to yourself.
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Deep Breathing Helps Calm Wedding Day Nerves
This may sound basic, but take a moment to breathe. Deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. There is some cool science behind why that particular process–nose, mouth, nose mouth–is important. But don’t worry about that now. Just breathe.
The focus on your breathing helps to manage the natural adrenaline in your body on your wedding day. Deep breathing decreases the release of the stress hormone cortisol and helps you relax. Breathe in, breathe out.
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Stop And Visualize
When you feel nerves building up, try to visualize a moment in the future. Look beyond any nerves or worries right then and imagine just the two of you and how happy you’ll be. Visualize all the anxiety draining from your body. Replace your inner voice about what needs to be done or said and think about your next step together. Your relationship is so wonderful. And you’re going to share a life together. Have a marriage, not just a wedding day. So much more. Take a moment and let yourself visualize that future to calm your wedding day nerves.
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Anticipate Some Bumps In The Road
Your day will be perfect for the two of you, but every second may not be perfect. There really is no such thing. Each wedding seems to have a bump in the road along the way. So, anticipate it. In fact, embrace it! Every little thing adds a story and even some humor to your day.
Expect a bump or two so it doesn’t surprise you. If you tell yourself, “Today doesn’t have to be perfect. Perfect is not the end goal.” You release pressure and calm your nerves.
I have a great-aunt and uncle who will celebrate sixty-five years of marriage this year and if you ask them the secret, they won’t say, “Well, we had a perfect wedding day. And that’s all we needed.” In fact, they have some crazy stories about weather and last-minute venue changes and a car breaking down! And here they are sixty-five years later.
Your wedding day does not need to be perfect. Even though, in the end it will probably feel that way. Smile knowing that wedding day nerves are common, but you can totally do something about them.